I picked up today’s Lincoln Journal Star, which included the “KFOR Best of Lincoln” insert. This is a little annual special where KFOR hires “the independent surveying firm of Research Associates, located right here in Lincoln, to conduct the survey.” We are assured that “…the results would vary no more than plus or minus 4.9% from the reported results that you’ll find in this tabloid.” (Okay, well, they showed first through third place, which makes the percentage claimer a little inapplicable, but anyway…)

There were a few categories that really caught my eye and seemed worthy of attention.

Best Hamburger in Lincoln
1. Runza
2. Wendy’s
3. Burger King

Best Seafood in Lincoln
1. Red Lobster
2. Long John Silver
3. Lazlo’s

Best Coffee House in Lincoln
1. The Mill
2. Starbucks
3. Village Inn

Here I am as a South Park character, courtesy of The South Park Character Creator. I’m not a fan of the show, so I don’t remember the characters’ names, but I put myself in the classroom setting to celebrate my new role as a teacher. I don’t actually wear a gray hoodie to class (just everywhere else), though I have gone this week without shaving.

If you want to try it out for yourself, it’s a little tricky to go from the character creator to a final image. It’s a Flash program, so you’ll need to do a screen capture (“Print Screen” on a PC, or use the Grab program on a Mac, and then paste into Photoshop or some other image editing program) if you want to share it with anyone.

I rarely watch TV. I only get two channels – Spike TV and SciFi – so all I ever watch is Monday Night Raw and nothing on SciFi.

Last year, I got hooked on House on Fox, because I’d go see Sara on Tuesday nights, and House was on after American Idol. But not since James Stenbeck returned to As the World Turns in the summer of 2002 have I been hooked on an episodic television program of any kind.

I’d heard a lot about “Lost,” all of it good. So when I saw the Season 1 DVD boxed set was on sale for $39 at Best Buy (with a Best Buy exclusive bonus disc), I decided I’d take a chance on it.

Sara and I sat down at about 10pm last Saturday, figuring to watch the two-part season opener before bed. We ended up watching the first two discs – eight episodes – before calling it a night at 4:30. The next day, we ordered enough pizza for lunch that we could eat leftovers for dinner, so we wouldn’t have to stop watching.

After having some doubts during the first episode, the second one made sure I was hooked. Over the span of about 2 days, we watched all 24 episodes. If not for work Monday, we would have gotten them out of the way quicker.

I’m really pumped for the start of Season 2 this Wednesday, but I’m really curious what it’s going to be like watching the show “live” each week. I got pretty spoiled, being introduced to the series without commercials and without having to wait for the next episode. I was slightly tempted to just wait it out until Season 2 comes out on DVD, but I think it’ll be fun to discuss the season as it goes along.

The island may have nothing on Craig Montgomery, but I’m still looking forward to seeing what’s up its sleeve. Or shaft. Whatever.

After a nice Labor Day weekend, I woke yesterday morning in agony. I had the most intense pain I can EVER remember experiencing running through my neck. This was so intense that my body would just tense up. I got up to go to the bathroom, and the random pulses of pain would make me involuntarily cry out and drop to the floor. I called my mom to try to figure out what was going on. I said lots of things that didn’t make any sense, but I was totally outside of reality. I mean, the first thing I was aware of upon waking up was that my body was contorting and it felt like my neck was plugged into a sparking outlet.

I couldn’t go anywhere. I couldn’t walk across the apartment without hitting the nerve and dropping to the floor, so I sure wasn’t driving anywhere. I was going to have to miss work, and I was worried about trying to call my boss. How lame does “I can’t come to work – my neck hurts” sound? Add to that, if I hit that nerve, I would uncontrollably shout “AAAH!” into the phone, which would undoubtedly sound like amateur theatrics. The hurt-neck version of “I’m sick, *cough cough*.” Thankfully, he was very cool and understanding. By about 4:00, my sister was able to bring me some lunch, so I no longer had an empty stomach to complicate matters.

So after a day of being stranded, alternating ibuprofen and tylenol, ice packs and head pads, my parents came to take me one of those emergency clinics. We sat there for about two hours while I waited my turn, trying to watch the Jim Lehrer news hour with an occasional spasm of pain.

We knew it was just an intense muscle spasm or pinched nerve, so there wasn’t much of a mystery as to what the doctor was going to tell me. The fun part was in the shame of hearing it said out loud that I injured myself sleeping, and discovering I’d get to wear a neck brace for the next few days.

My parents headed home, so Sara took me to Target to get one of those therapeutic support pillows. She mocked me by wanting to stop at an endcap full of s’mores ingredients – it looked like my neck was a giant marshmallow, she said.

So on our way out, wouldn’t you know it, I slipped in a puddle of water on the floor, further straining and hurting my neck. I’ve spent the last day in the haze of painkillers and muscle relaxers, nursing my sleep injury.

And I was wondering how I was going to top my croquet-induced back injury. Sara said, “We’re not going to be able to play Uno, or else you might get a hernia.”

Not a lot of change, but ever since posting your iTunes top 25 became all the rage, I have been paying more attention. Important climber – Dancing DJs’ update on the Roxette classic “Fading like a Flower.”

1. Space Age Love Song – A Flock of Seagulls
– Only You – Yaz (tie)
3. My My My (Cagedbaby Klubheads Radio Mix) – Armand Van Helden
4. Got to wake up – Baxter
5. Call on Me – Eric Prydz
6. Yawn, Yawn, Yawn – Les Savy Fav
7. Daydreaming – Massive Attack
8. Back To Basics – Shapeshifters
9. Losing Their Heads – Turbotito
10. Nite and Day – Al B. Sure
11. You – Axodry
12. You’re So Vain – The Black Neon
13. Superstar 2004 (Nikko Superstar Extended House Mix) – Boot Legg Vs Jamelia
14. One Day At A Time – Client
15. Fading Like A Flower – Dancing DJs vs Roxette
16. Castles in the sky (radio edit) – Ian van Dahl
17. You Promised Me (Tu es foutu) – Ingrid
18. The Weekend (Radio Edit) – Michael Gray
19. Machiner – Synth Invasion
20. Out Of Touch (radio edition) – Uniting Nations
21. Going Underground – The Jam
22. Up Above the Sea – John Vanderslice
23. Phone Went West (Live at Bonnaroo ’04) – My Morning Jacket
24. This is the Day – The The
25. Second Story Man – Heaven is a Hotel

You might think it difficult, but I discovered today that 6th graders (or at least one of them) have the power to come to day 1 of the introduction to journalism and relate absolutely any topic to bigfoot or “lake creatures.”

I asked the kids to come up with 5 possible news story ideas for next time, and I told them to think about who they might talk to when reporting on such a story. I was asked if it would be acceptable to travel to Scotland, because that’s where the good sources on Lake Monsters apparently live.

All in all, it was fun, and the first day definitely showed me what I was and was not prepared for. The kids were really excited when I handed out their brand new reporters notebooks.

Monday I start my new gig of teaching after-school program classes at a Lincoln middle school. Monday is a newspaper / magazine class, Tues & Thurs are Film Production, and Wed & Fri are comic book making. We’ve been training for the past two weeks, learning about how to deal with middle schoolers (I learned on Friday that middle schoolers still occasionally poop their pants) and whatnot, and the last few days it’s been all about getting those lesson plans and activity sheets ready!

I’m most excited about trying to get into that middle school frame of mind, thinking about all those basics I take for granted, and how to not just sound like some stupid adult who doesn’t get it. I know if some adult would have told me when I was 13 that comic books were about more than big muscles and infinite cross-hatching, I would have been like “Yeah, whatever.” So I’ve been trying to think of a lot of games for all three classes that demonstrate basic ideas in a fun way.

In other news, I finished a rough cut of “The Bad Seed” last night. 16 minutes down, 10-15 to go.

I just got back from a family trip to Wisconsin. I wish I would have taken more pictures, but I didn’t, so I’ll keep the mainly-text recap brief.

It was nice to go on a full-family vacation; we haven’t taken one with the complete family in many years. In addition to the core five members, Monica’s whole family came, and Erica’s boyfriend James was able to come too. I was kind of a seventh wheel at times, because Sara wasn’t able to make it, but it was still a lot of fun.

Erica really likes the Green Bay Packers, so we spent a few days in Green Bay and visited their stadium and watched their training practices. Melany, who is now about 19 months old, picked up the football concept completely on her own – out of nowhere, she tucked her sippy-cup under her arm, got down into a three-point stance, and took off running.

Monica and Nolan’s hotel had a pirate themed water park, and this included a section of pool with two floating rubbery treasure chests that were tied down to the bottom of the pool. After the initial challenge of climbing onto them without slipping or being flipped off was overcome, Nolan and James and I moved onto trying to stand on them. Once that was out of the way, we tried jumping from one to the other.

We apparently inspired some kids, who we later saw trying to jump from the pool deck onto the floating barrels. Some of them took ridiculously nasty spills, but this one kid managed to do what I had declared impossible – jump from the pool deck onto one of these slippery, wobbly, floating barrels and land standing up.

For several hours over two nights, we tried to match his feat (he got good enough to where he could call his shot and land it, occasionally three tries in a row). James got really close several times, and finally as it neared bedtime the last night we were there, he did it.

Although I might feel differently if I’d been able to land it, but I actually thought it was more fun to wipe out. If you landed on your feet with enough momentum, chances were good that your feet would keep going and you’d flop hard onto your back. (click here to see me wiping out, and here to see one of the other kids wipe out)

We also spent quite a bit of time at the lake where we stayed along the Wisconsin Dells. Miqaela and Melany weren’t too thrilled about going out into the water, but they loved feeding the ducks with grandma. I really like being out on water, so spending a vacation out on a lake gets high marks from me.

I have to add that, while on the trip, I started reading Harry Potter books. I’ve liked the movies and I’ve always wanted to read them, but the legendary Nate Barnhart finally gave me the inspiration and this trip gave me the free time to start reading them. So far I’ve finished the first two and I’m looking forward to finishing them all so I can actually sit down with people and have nerdy Harry Potter discussions.

Not much else to share on this end. It was a fun trip, a nice vacation from work, and fun time with the family.

I got a form letter back from UPN.

Dear Neal,

Thank you for writing to UPN, and we appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts and concerns about “WWE SmackDown!” Due to the tragic events in London last Thursday, we took the added measure of running an advisory four times throughout the broadcast so that viewers could make the appropriate viewing decision for their household. We will continue to monitor the situation involving this character and storyline. Please be advised that we have noted your comments and wish to assure you that they have been shared with the senior broadcast executives at UPN.

Cordially,

UPN
Viewer Services

And here’s WWE’s attempt to explain themselves – NOT apologize (from Fox News):

“We’re very proud of our product,” said “Smackdown” executive producer Kevin Dunn. “We try and be sensitive with everything we portray, but there’s got to be protagonists and antagonists on our TV shows. We just happen to reflect the politics of the world sometimes – especially with these Arab-American characters.” … WWE’s Dunn says, “We are firmly in the entertainment business,” and that the plot, as edgy as it might have been, should be taken tongue-in-cheek.”

UPN pulled Muhammad Hassan from last night’s episode of Smackdown. The WWE prefaced the show with a disclaimer. Here’s Pro Wrestling Torch editor Wade Keller’s description of the opening:

The show opened with an advisory stating that due to world events, “sensitivities have risen” so viewer discretion was advised. How about instead: “Due to world events which we’re trying to exploit, but in a tongue-in-cheek way only, since you know, simulating beheadings, suicide bombing themes, martyrs, and such are obviously tongue-in-cheek, and it wasn’t our fault the bombers chose the morning of last week’s show which we couldn’t change, well we could have, but chose not to, because any publicity is good publicity, and you people really need to lighten up, it’s just wrestling, and we’re giving the Bash to the troops for free, so we’re not all bad, and look at those soldiers cheer us, so that makes it all okay – viewers who are total PC freaks and pussies may want to not watch.”

They don’t get it. They think they’re being persecuted in an overly-sensitive PC world. They really don’t understand that there are intelligent ways to portray things like terrorism, suicide bombers, etc. for meaningful and dramatic value. Then there’s the way WWE does it.

Haven’t watched any WWE programming since Davairi “sacrificed himself.”

I get a deserved amount of hassling for continuing to be a wrestling fan, but as of last night’s episode of Smackdown, WWE has sunk to a new low. Ever since Vince McMahon let his completely unqualified daughter run the creative department of this publicly-traded company, the quality of programming has dropped dramatically. But that’s usually been in terms of shoddy storytelling, ridiculous hole-filled plots and poor payoffs. Now they’ve sunken to the deplorable low of exploiting real-life tragedy for the sake of making money.

They have a character now called Muhammad Hassan. He’s the bad Muslim who is a bad guy apparently because he doesn’t like how Americans view all Muslims as terrorists. I’m not sure how this makes him a bad guy, but it’s important to remember in WWE Land everyone is guilty until proven white. Yesterday, on the same day as the terrorist attacks in London, WWE went even further. To set the stage, Hassan has a match with the Undertaker at the next pay-per-view, so his manager, Daivari, was facing Undertaker on Smackdown.

From the Pro Wrestling Torch accounts of the show:

Hassan told Daivari backstage that he needs to understand his role. He told him to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He assured him his sacrifice would not go without a great reward.

As if the connection to suicide bombers and terrorists wasn’t obvious enough,

After the match, Hassan kneels and lifts his arms and head up (in a praying pose). A group of “terrorists” in black masks come to the ring and beat up Undertaker. They choke him out with steel wire wrapped around his neck. Hassan gets in the ring to huge boos. He applies the camel clutch. Undertaker has passed out. The terrorists are all on their knees in the praying pose when the camera pans back. The terrorists then grab Daivari and carry him out like a martyr.

I know WWE thinks they’re really cool and edgy when they do things that upset viewers. But this is ridiculous – this show ran on THE SAME DAY THAT REAL PEOPLE DIED IN A REAL TERRORIST ATTACK. I simply can’t believe it. I can’t believe a Viacom-owned station like UPN would even want to go there. And it wasn’t like WWE pulled a fast one on Viacom – this episode was taped Tuesday, and although in WWE’s slight defense, the London thing hadn’t happened yet, it’s not like they didn’t have all day Thursday to edit it out. I’m a student – I could have done it. I don’t buy any excuses that it wasn’t possible. So instead they ran a small crawler at the bottom of the screen a few times advising parental discretion.

If this offends you, please go to upn.com (click on the “Contact” link) and tell them how you feel about their station choosing to run something like this. And please spread the word about it. I think UPN – NOT WWE – needs to see how the general public reacts to things like this. I’m sure right now, the folks at WWE are smiling to themselves, thinking how successfully they’ve executed this “edgy” storyline, completely oblivious to what they have done for the sake of money.