I wanted my birthday to be relaxing and fun, and that evolved into “Let’s see how many meals we can eat at In-N-Out.”

We started out thinking we’d have lunch at In-N-Out and then have dinner at Gordon Biersch, my favorite microbrewery. I wasn’t really in the mood to battle a crowd and have to deal with a bunch of yuppies when I really just wanted to hang out with Sara, so then we thought we should eat lunch AND dinner at In-N-Out. But when we got over to the Mission Valley In-N-Out, we spotted Pick Up Sticks nearby, which Sara hadn’t had a chance to experience. So the plan became:

1. Have “breakfast” (at 1pm) at In-N-Out
2. Go see a movie
3. Sara will get lunch at Pick Up Sticks and I’d get lunch at In-N-Out and we’d eat at the outdoor dining area in between
4. Do a little shopping
5. Have dinner at In-N-Out
6. Go home and be exhausted from all the eating.

Well here’s the proof:

This is kind of a side note, but we stopped briefly at DSW Shoe Warehouse and I have to show you these shoes. I think they are extremely ugly, and they were a really flimsy plastic too.

Here Sara is, modeling the ugly shoe.

Here is a closer look at this neon atrocity.

And here’s the price tag.

That’s right - $499.89. I could not believe it. It made me angry. This is why I despise fashion, and take it upon myself to be arrogant enough to pity people who obsess over fashion. Because some moron out there will really pay $500 for these things. When she asked me how much I thought they were, I guessed $8, because they came from the clearance rack and they’re absolutely disgusting.

So in spite of my complaining about those shoes, I had a fantastic birthday, and I loved getting stuffed with Sara. She brought me here for my birthday, and it’s been a great week. It’s really great to be able to enjoy San Diego for what it is and share that with someone.

I’m not saying I want to move back, but it’s been great being back. I will really miss the smell of the air. And In-N-Out.

Sea World Day began sadly, as we had to return the car. But here’s Sara with our dear Mazda 6.

We avoided a $20 cab fare by continuing to master the art of public transportation and made our way to Sea World by mid-morning. Sea World had long been a part of the plans since before we even really had a plan of coming to San Diego. It was more of a “Some day, when we go to San Diego, can I go see the manatees?” Because Sara loves manatees. Like she’d probably leave me for a manatee. So we were definitely going to Sea World.

Unfortunately, we weren’t able to get up close to touch any manatees, but we still spent some quality time watching them swim around and eat lettuce. Several of them had lots of scar tissue and disfigured tails, and since they were all rescued from Florida, we figured they must have been hurt by boats and hunters and stuff. Neither of us are fans of seeing miserable animals in captivity, but all over Sea World, you’d really get this sort of happy and content vibe from the animals. The positive sides of it were very evident with these guys.

We went on this splashy rapids ride that had no line at all thanks to the fact that it was cloudy and in the 60s. Sara wasn’t excited about getting soaked on a cool day, so I let her wear my jacket, which I later regretted. We got so soaked on that ride that my shorts were literally still damp 8 hours later. But here are a few pictures I took the first time we went on it (we went twice in a row because no one else was waiting to go on):

Sara looking in anticipation at the coming rapids:

A big waterfall (and a second waterfall along the side) that we were headed straight for:

Sara’s reaction to seeing the inevitable drenching:

Later on, we went to a dolphin show, which I thought had the potential to be kind of lame, but it was really cool. The dolphins seemed like they were having tons of fun, and it was really a lot of fun and pretty funny. Probably the biggest surprise of the day. But here are a few pictures of the show. The first is obviously a dolphin, and the second was some kind of whale that was also part of the show. It kind of looks like a disfigured black shoe in that picture, but I promise it’s a whale.

Some people asked me to take a picture of them, so we asked them to return the favor. So here we are in front of the dolphin pool.

On Day 6, we rented a car and went up to Hollywood to visit my cousin Lindsay. We got a Mazda 6, and it was a ton of fun. I really missed driving in San Diego and driving in general, really. The first thing we did was head up Mount Soledad to the cross, which will be coming down because of a separation of church and state decision.

It was completely foggy and the magnificent view of San Diego was so obscured that you couldn’t even see down the hill more than about 50 feet. So that opportunity was somewhat blown. But we headed up I-5, and when we could get off, we took the coast highway and stopped in Laguna Beach.

Whatever weather was causing the massive waves in PB the day before was still in effect on Thursday. And because of the steeper slope of Laguna Beach, the waves crash much closer to the shore. So we were seeing the giant waves we saw Wednesday, only about 5 times closer.

I went around this outcropping to this little sandy cove to get some pictures and videos of the waves crashing on the rocks. Here’s looking left from where I was standing:

And here’s the view to the right, where Sara waited on the safe and dry part of the beach:

I was standing on top of a big rock, and even though the water was coming in around me, I thought I was safe from getting wet because of how high I was. I’d get splashed up to my shins now and then, but I didn’t think the water could really come much higher. I was very wrong. A huge wave came in and I got soaked - absolutely soaked - even my hair got wet. And I didn’t have any spare clothes with me, so it was pretty uncomfortable for a while. But here’s a look at the waves crashing on the rocks:

to be continued…

We met up with Lindsay at her apartment and she took us around on a tourist’s tour of Hollywood. I’d been to LA and Hollywood a few times before, but never really managed to see anything cool without being pointed in the right direction by Lindsay, so I was excited to get her version of a Hollywood tour.

We headed out to the mall that’s built around Mann’s Chinese Theater, where we went out onto a little scenic path to see the big “Hollywood” sign. It was so far away that you can’t really see it in this picture, but I blew it up and enhanced it a little bit so you can see the letters.

We had lunch at this place that had Japanese food and a name that means “swish swish” (according to the waiter) but I don’t remember what it was called. It was unique and it was fun, and Lindsay eats there all the time. Out our window, you can see these giant elephants that overlook the middle of the mall.

We went down to the street where you can see all those stars on the sidewalk, and we went over to the front of the theater, which currently has a giant “Be Cool” poster on the front.

Lindsay told us - after we’d been to see the movie - that she’s an extra in the movie. It hasn’t gotten very good reviews, but I thought it was fun, and Sara enjoyed it too. So we’ll probably see it again to Lindsay-watch.

So here is Burt Reynolds’ handprint, on which he apparently forgot how to spell his name.

And here is Sara next to Jackie Chan’s star, which we took for Vicki Wheeler, who Sara used to work with at the College of Journalism.

Closing out the Hollywood section of the trip, here is our Elmo Story.

We saw a bunch of people outside the theater dressed up as various movie and TV characters. I saw someone dressed as Elmo, so I handed Sara my camera and walked up to him.

NEAL: Hey Elmo, can I get a picture with you for my niece?
ELMO: (whispers to me) We’re like street performers - we work off tips.
NEAL: Okay, no problem.
ELMO: (from this point on, “Elmo” speaks in a falsetto/faux-Elmo voice. keep this important detail in mind) What’s her name?
NEAL: Her? That’s Sara.
ELMO: Your niece?
NEAL: Oh, my niece - her name is Miqaela.
ELMO: That’s your niece?
NEAL: No -
ELMO: She’s HOT!
NEAL: No, that’s my girlfriend. My niece is two.
ELMO: Dude, she’s hot! That’s your girlfriend? That girl is HOT!
NEAL: Yes, that’s my girlfriend.
ELMO: You’re a lucky man!
NEAL: Thank -
ELMO: Who’s that other girl?
NEAL: That’s my cousin -
ELMO: Damn! I’m going over there!

Elmo proceeds to walk over to Sara and Lindsay. I tipped him a $5, because that was the smallest bill I had, so I figured I’d get another picture.

NEAL: You guys want your picture taken with Elmo?
ELMO: Yeah!
SARA and LINDSAY: uhh…

Elmo puts his arms around them and rubs their shoulders while I take about 10 seconds of really awkward video (to be posted soon) with my camera.

ELMO: (trying to get back into character a little bit more) She’s so pretty!
SARA: Uh…thanks…
ELMO: She looks like - what’s her name - that girl from Alias.
NEAL: Jennifer Garner?
ELMO: Are you guys gonna get married?
NEAL: Well, maybe if she’s nice…
ELMO: I’ll be nice to her…
NEAL: Elmo, I don’t think you’re supposed to talk about stuff like that…
ELMO: And who is this? You’ve got another girl?
NEAL: That’s my cousin!
ELMO: Man you are LUCKY! Two girls?!
NEAL: She’s my COUSIN!
ELMO: (sticks out his fist to give the “pound” gesture) PLAYA PLAYA!!

I reciprocated the “pound” and we left Elmo to get his picture taken with other tourists.

I apologized to Sara later for any message I may have sent to Elmo by accepting the “pound,” but I reasoned, when else am I going to be offered the “pound” from Elmo while he’s telling me “Playa Playa!!” ?

Lindsay showed us some more stuff, but we eventually had to get back on the road to get home. On the way back, we stopped by the Lakewood mall to go to Rob Van Dam’s 5 Star Comics (RVD is a WWE wrestler).

Day 5 was Beach Day Two - the day we were actually going to hang out on the beach for the hot hours of the day. Weather.com told us it was going to be 80 degrees and sunny.

We had our third In-N-Out lunch at the Sports Arena location. I ordered the 4×4, which was my first time ordering anything off the secret menu. I like this picture because it makes it look like Sara’s eating two sandwiches and two orders of fries for lunch. She doesn’t like this picture for the exact same reason.

We got out at La Playa so that we could walk around Mission Bay on our way to Pacific Beach. Sara stopped to ride this turtle at the playground.

By the time we got to the beach, it started getting really cloudy and cold. We sunbathed for about 5 minutes and then put our clothes back on and played Scrabble. I won, to end my losing streak. But by the time we were done with the game, we were freezing. It got really cold and the sky got really gray. The waves were huge, though - bigger than I have ever seen at Pacific Beach.

This is a view from down on the beach by where we sat. It’s really hard to get a sense of how big the waves were from this picture, unfortunately.

We went out onto the pier, which was really exciting because the waves were breaking probably no more than 30 feet out from where the pier ended, so you could get an up-close view of these huge things. Every wave just rattled the pier. Here are a few pictures from out there:

We walked back up Garnet to have dinner at World Curry, but on the way we passed Avalon Tattoo, where Rey Mysterio gets his tattoos.

We started out with an early lunch at the BeeJay Deli on 2nd Avenue, the place I used to get lunch when I’d work day shifts. The people who run that place are so cool. I haven’t seen them in 1.5-2 years, and when I walked in they were really happy to see me. I always make a point to eat there when I’m back in San Diego, but the last time I was in town, I was there over the weekend and someone else works the counter on weekends. So I’m thinking the last time I saw them was probably on the Bearded Odyssey, which would have been late May 2003.

But right away, when I walked in, they were like “Hey, you’re back!” They asked how school was going and everything and were just really cool. I realize some of it is probably an ego thing, because I’ve never really had a regular place where the owners knew me and remembered me and cared about me that much as a customer, but these people are just super friendly and cool. So if any of you reading this are from San Diego or visit there, please go to the BeeJay Deli on 2nd Avenue just south of Cedar (by the Motel 6). They’re mainly a sandwich shop but they have other things too, like salads and stuff. I recommend the chicken breast with melted jack cheese and ortega chilis on toasted sourdough.

Sara had the turkey sandwich. We also had some complimentary egg rolls, which were great, as an appetizer.

Anyway, we took the trolley down to Tijuana for some junk shopping. Speaking of that, one of my favorite merchants gave us this line as we passed his shop: “Wanna come in and see more junk - eh - I mean, merchandise?” I got a kick out of that. But here is Sara along Revolution Avenue with the old arch ruins and the new kitschy arch both behind her.

We headed down Revolution Avenue, and I bought four new Mexican wrestling masks (pictures to come, I hope). This picture was taken as a salesman attempted to convince Sara she wanted to buy some of his jewelry, but I took the picture because the building behind her says “Sara” also.

I’m going a little out of order here, but after we made the walk across the border and over to Revolution Ave, I got really light-headed all of a sudden. My stomach notted up like I was really hungry and my heart started racing. So we sat down and I said something about how I really needed to get some lunch, and then I just realized that we’d eaten only an hour before. But I felt miserable and it just came out of nowhere.

I really wanted to get some water, but all I could think of was “When in Mexico, don’t drink the water.” Sara was like “But if we find bottled water, that’ll be okay,” and I was just thinking “Why would the water companies send their good water to Mexico? They probably just bottle the bad water!” Yeah so I was going nuts, just feeling like I was going to faint in Mexico while kids kept trying to sell me Chicklets. I was trying to figure out the Spanish word for “sick,” so I was asking Sara, “Is it ‘enfermo’? Is that it? Or does that mean ‘on fire’ or something?” and she was just like “Maybe you should just try not to talk…”

I became convinced that I needed to go into “Taco Bell,” the restaurant immediately behind our bench that was definitely NOT a part of the Taco Bell chain. This was basically a 3-walled shack with some rotting-away locals sitting inside and a chihuahua running around and barking on the roof. However, they had a special of 3 beef tacos for $1 and beers and bottles of pop were also $1.

Oddly enough, my idea of curing my ailment with cheap tacos and beer didn’t seem as smart to Sara as it did to me. Nevertheless, I convinced her that we should go in, because anything was better than water. We walked in, the locals just glared at us, absolutely no one approached us, so we walked out. The sight of Rey Mysterio masks across the way brought a little bit of life back to me, so we went over and I bought one and I asked the shopkeeper if the taco place across the street was any good (that’s simplifying it a bit - she didn’t speak English and I don’t speak Spanish, but we ended up communicating in terms of “bueno” and “no”). She communicated the idea that Taco Bell was good, so we decided to try again.

Again, we walked into “Taco Bell,” and no one made an effort to acknowledge us, with the exception of the half-dead old locals who just glared at us. I also forgot to mention the swarm of gnats we had to walk through to get into the restaurant.

So once again, we walked out, and one of the servers that had just been standing by a window asked us if we wanted some tacos. Relieved and still delirious, I said yes, and we sat down and eventually I was served (Sara did not want to order food or look at my food once it arrived. The idea of eating the tacos in this place in the company of gnats was not pleasing to her).

The three tacos I got were not only tiny, but they each sported a glob of guacamole that can best be described as someone blowing their sinus-infected nose into my tacos. But I ate them up (even though I hate guacamole) and drank a Corona and a Pepsi Light, paid my $3 and we left. Sara asked me if I felt better, and regarding my initial ailment, I felt a lot better. But that food made me sick in a very new way.

It eventually passed and we were both fine the rest of the day. But I told that story out of order for the purpose of keeping the photos in chronological order. We got some pictures of “Taco Bell” on our way back to the trolley. Here’s Sara, with an inset of the chihuaha (which isn’t visible in the regular photo).

And here’s a closeup of the chihuaha, which held perfectly still while Sara took her picture, but when I tried to, he kept running around. A homeless guy stumbled buy, seeing what I was trying to do, and yelled up “Hold still! He’s trying to take your picture!” and then laughed to himself as he stumbled on down the street.

Here’s a look back at the TJ skyline before we crossed the border.

This is the backed up line of cars at the border. Because of the side of the bridge we were on, I couldn’t look back to show how far the line went. We actually got through our line faster than I ever have before. There was literally no wait for people on foot.

We ended up getting cleaned up and going to Caparell’s for dinner that night - another highly recommended SD restaurant. It’s an Italian place on the ground floor of the Reiss Hotel on 1st Avenue north of Ash.

Day 3 was beach day!

Here’s the In-N-Out at Rosecrans and Sports Arena, which used to be my “regular” In-N-Out.

I inadvertantly made a friend on the bus. We sat down near an elderly gentleman with lots of long ear hair who had a newspaper next to him, so I asked if it was his paper so I could read it. This began a horribly awkward, extremely loud and pretty one-sided conversation, during which he spoke of computer repairmen, godless communists, summer camps and foreign tyrants hiding away on their secret islands.

We wanted to get off the bus at Grand to go to the gas station on the corner to go hunting for Rachel, the infamous transgendered gas station attendant. (link) He refused to accept this. He’d say “Oh you want Garnet, that’s where all the shops are, that’s the main street.” And I’d say, “No, actually I want to get off at Grand.” Then he’d say “No you want to get Garnet, that’s the main street through Pacific Beach,” and I’d reply, “Yes, I realize that, but I actually want to get off at Garnet.”

I should have just ignored him, and Sara wondered why I kept encouraging him, but I just feel really bad when I’m rude to people. There were about 500 points during that 20-minute ride where I really wanted to just say “Shut up, you senile old moron,” but I couldn’t do that, and I couldn’t do anything along the spectrum of rudeness short of just listening and politely participating. And I’m pretty sure everyone else on the bus hated me for that.

We finally got out at Grand (another bus rider eventually snapped at him: “They want to get off at Grand!!”) but we were unfortunately denied a Rachel sighting. We did end up going to Garnet, which we’d intended from the beginning - not because of the old man on the bus - and walked down Garnet to the beach.

Before you get to the beach, you come to Fatburger. Sara wanted to get a picture with this sign for her dad.

We went down to the beach, and here is Sara realizing, thanks to a wave that came further up the beach than the rest, that the Pacific can be pretty chilly in March.

We walked along the beach for a while and then went up to the Garnet Pier. This is just a standard hold-the-camera-out-and-try-to-take-a-picture-of-ourselves shot…after about 10 missed tries. I’m not very good at pulling this off.

This is just a gimmicky little picture I took looking through a knothole in the pier down at the foamy waters below.

I can’t remember what we did for dinner that night.

We got kind of a late start on Sunday. We were going to try to keep a Central Time schedule so that we’d be waking up early and getting a lot accomplished during the day, but we ended up being so worn out we accidentally slept in.

Here’s a view from the hotel room Sunday morning:

We had breakfast at Hob Nob Hill, a place I always sent guests to when I worked at the Holiday Inn, but I had never eaten there. So we ate there. Then we took a walk around downtown.

This is a shot of the Star of India, the oldest seaworthy ship in … some region. I don’t remember if it’s “The Pacific” or “The United States” or “The World” or “San Diego.” But it’s big and old.

Just past the Star of India was this cool pair of street musicians.

When Danny the singer / keyboardist stopped playing the previous song, Rosie his sidekick kept playing her metallic maracas. He shouted out “Rosie - stop playing! The song’s over!” She replied, “Sorry Danny, I guess I just get carried away!”

Down by arena park, there were some people flying kites. Nothing witty or insightful to say here.

Then over by the convention center, we stopped to sit by a fountain. This duck responded to my request and stopped to pose for a picture in front of the fountain.

A bunch of pigeons decided they liked Sara.

Then we went to Horton Plaza where Sara shopped for some new work clothes for her new job and we ate at Sarku Japan, also known as “Yummy yummy chicken!”

We had to sit outside waiting for the shuttle for about a half hour, because our flight came in right at the scheduled time for the zoo and Sea World pickup. We could have taken a $5 cab to the hotel, but it was nice to be outside so we didn’t mind waiting. So here’s Sara as we sat waiting for the shuttle:

We took the trolley to Mission Valley Center, which was the closest trolley station to an In-N-Out. The hotel shuttle driver said he could take us to the Sports Arena In-N-Out, but we’d just be driving through, and I wanted to sit inside and enjoy the atmosphere for my first In-N-Out visit since October 2003 and for Sara’s first In-N-Out visit EVER. So here’s Sara with the beautiful In-N-Out counter behind her:

and nearing the conclusion of her first In-N-Out meal, which she enjoyed greatly. “Even In-N-Out burps taste good!” - Sara McMillan

I needed to get some pens, so we went to the World’s Largest Target, also at the Mission Valley mall. Here’s Sara with the shopping cart escalator in the background. At this point, she was getting a little tired of being the subject of the photo journal.

We eventually made our way back to the trolley station to get back to the hotel at the end of a long first day. And Sara was really getting annoyed…

It was a good first day, and we haven’t seen much. Sara mentioned that she really hasn’t seen anything yet that makes San Diego seem “metropolitan,” so tomorrow we’re going to walk into the heart of downtown.