New fast food items – REVIEWED

Both Arby’s and Wendy’s have recently unveiled new menu items to expand beyond the traditional fare. While this is not to the degree of Jack in the Box serving burgers, tacos and teriyaki bowls, it’s inching uncomfortably close.

Wendy’s Frescata Sandwiches
These new delights are obviously targeted at the health-conscious, because they are advertised packaged with Baked Lays and a bottle of Dasani. I have no illusions of health from my fast food, and I also greatly enjoy Wendy’s fries and pop, so I went with the standard meal accessories.

The Black Forest Ham and Swiss was my sandwich of choice. In person, the sandwich was bigger than I expected from the photo. I thought I was going to get something nice and cute on a little bun. Bigger-than-expected would normally be a treat. However, this was not the case.

The size of the bun dictates the amount of meat that must be on the sandwich. A cute little sandwich would be very satisfying with a conservative amount of meat, because a conservative amount of meat could still stuff a little sandwich and make it seem like it was overflowing with content.

A bigger bun, however, requires a lot of meat – and anything less than a lot makes the sandwich seem cheap and skimped on the goods. So I found myself with a lot of bun and not as much innards as I’d like.

The tangy sauce on the sandwich was also a turn-off. I ate there an hour ago and my stomach is still upset. It reminds me of the horrible internal sensation after eating Arby’s chicken bacon ranch wrap.

Rating: Helps keep off the pounds by boring you while eating it or causing you to throw it up later.

Arby’s Gyro
I don’t know what I was thinking ordering this. The only tiime Arby’s ever strayed from the standard “thinly sliced meat on soft bun” formula and I didn’t get sick was with their amazing sourdough melts, which they of course discontinued.

But the picture on the wall made it look like a real gyro. The meat in that picture looked like gyro meat – that kind of meat that gets sliced off a big brown rotating spool with a machete. It didn’t look like roast beef, which was my fear: that Arby’s would put their regular old roast beef in a pita and call it a gyro.

So I asked the woman at the register, “Does the gyro have seasoned gyro meat, or just roast beef?”

“Oh, it’s seasoned,” she told me. I should have known, through that carefully crafted response, what that meant.

The Arby’s gyro is a pita, some onions, lettuce and tomatoes, and then traditional Arby’s roast beef with some sort of seasoning and sauce gooped on. It’s like how you would make a roast beef sandwich at home if you ran out of buns and only had a pita. And then if you put a bunch of toppings on that don’t belong on a roast beef sandwich.

Much like the Wendy’s Frescata sandwich and all the Arby’s wraps, the gyro made me sick to my stomach. I quickly wised up and chased it with a Hot Ham & Swiss and everything was pretty much okay.

Rating: Not gyro, crap!

I understand a fast food restaurant’s desire to liven up the menu. But you know what would make me go to Arby’s and Wendy’s more? If they stopped raising their prices all the time. I know we have things like inflation, but it gets pretty ridiculous when sandwiches that were 99 cents a few years ago are now like $2.79. And then those jerks at Wendy’s jacked up the prices on the dollar menu stuff – even on the pop. Everyone knows that pop is like 99% profit, so increasing the price of pop is one of the slimiest, cheapest things a joint can do.

In their minds, they might be getting 20 cents more of my money, except I’m not going there anymore, so they’re getting a lot less. Just do what you do and do it well, and people will come there. Don’t gimmick me in the door and then tell me pop is $1.49 now.

One Response to “New fast food items – REVIEWED”

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